On Sunday, Tywin, Balon, and I competed against each other in a makeshift Chopped-style face off at my house. We thought it might be worthwhile to post a recap for your enjoyment:

It started with the appetizer round, where I was given 35 minutes to prepare a dish. Tywin was responsible for putting my basket together, and since he's a dick, he gave me a basket full of dicks.



My ingredients were… an unripe banana, honey roasted peanuts, some caramel instant coffee mix, and a block of cheddar cheese. I made the following:



The presentation was not great. The little shit logs are fish sticks that I fried in a batter of instant coffee mix and honey roasted peanuts. It didn't taste as bad as it sounds. It was actually okay. However, that other little piece, which I dubbed an "explosion salad bite" was pretty damn gross… that's a couple of banana slices, a cherry tomato, and some melted cheese on a toothpick.

Judge's score: 7/10

Balon's turn. He had 45 minutes to prepare an entree, and I was in charge of his basket. I tried not to make it too easy, but Balon had already decided on bending my basket over and raping it into a curry no matter what the contents were. At least he didn't make Roegadyn Sausage.



His ingredients were pizza crusts, orange marmalade, frozen salmon burgers, and bamboo shoots. Here is his dish:



It was damn good, and presentable to boot. I'll let him elaborate, but he added a few ingredients and made a curry with the salmon meat and bamboo shoots. Then he made it spicy and baked up an orange marmalade glazed naan to counter the spice.

Judge's Score: 9/10

And on to dessert! Balon prepared Tywin's basket, and he gave him some wonderful ingredients to work with.



There was a framboise, a fruit wheel, some sort of berry spread, and brie. But wait… we need to consult the instant replay. What kind of brie is that???



PRESTIIIIIIIIGE!!!!

Surely with all of those wonderful dessert ingredients, and Tywin's prowess as a baker, he will come up with something so delicious th… wait… what the…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! RUUUUUUUUNNN!!!!



This was definitely not his best creation. I'll let him elaborate on his tactics. For now, let's focus on his results. Whatever he intended it to taste like, it tasted like a ball of sand covered in jelly, and it had the grainy, uncooked texture to match. Seriously, we saved some for the tanks b/c these bad boys give +10 enmity (if you feed them to the mob)

Judge's Score: a gentleman's 3/10



WINNER!!!!!

If its a cook off balon always win, look at that winning face!

That dessert….looks like someone came on some sea urchins and topped it with cheese…

http://s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/S3BxrX_2d71Kr10069m35w/l.jpg

Sounds like you guys had a lot of fun.

This is pretty cool guys. Sounds like it was a ton of fun. Silv, we gotta do this sometime!

Hilarious.

That curry was cake to make to, just one can coconut milk ass rack of curry powder to taste cock sauce, and then some potatoes the bamboo shoots and some chic peas, salt and pepper as needed!

Hardest part was figuring what to do with the marmalade and pizza crust but once i spiced up the curry i knew what must be done!

Instant coffee and frozen battered peanuts. Never thought of that combo. Interesting dish ideas :D Nice looking bowls btw ^_^ b

I should've just cut my losses, sliced my hand, and claimed my dish was inedible.

This is pretty cool guys. Sounds like it was a ton of fun. Silv, we gotta do this sometime!Magnus Greyson

Yes, yes we do. Show 'em how it's done.